1. I’m trying something a little different with the Lost Toast strips. It’s all leading to something I think you guys are going to love - or at least I hope you all do. All I can say right now, is that Lost Toast might be coming at you a little more often than thrice a week. News as it comes.
2. For the record? No. A thousand - no, a billion times no. It’s weird, and awkward, and not to mention the part where it’s absolutely NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. If you want reasons, I’ll give you a few: Nobody - NOBODY - asks how many children you want - and then writes the answer down. And they don’t talk about meeting my parents - even accidentally. And remember our talk about creepers? You’re being one. Sorry, but I have to be blunt because you’re scaring the utter fuck out of me and that’s not going to work out for me. Also? Totally not my type. At all. So. To summarize? Stop being creepy - and stop talking about me. Also? Y’might want to leave me alone. Oh. And, uh… see you at the staff party on Saturday.
3. Almost forgot. Leonard Cohen is terrible. Just terrible.

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